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Snowbound and Crankypanted

February 9, 2011

I’ve just about had it with winter.

This is the first year in a long while in which my ailing Rust Belt city has earned it’s snowy reputation (though in fairness to all of North America, our beating has been almost mild in comparison to what’s happened a bit east or west of us).  I felt like I was handling the bitter cold and periodic storms pretty well until this past weekend.  Nothing of particular meteorological import even happened; just the ice cube that broke the polar bear’s back.  You know, if polar bears were pack animals that traditionally carried massive loads of ice cubes.

As my patience for the uncontrollable wanes, so does my ability to craft an apt metaphor, I suppose.

At any rate, the continued cold and periodic dumping of inches at a time of white death upon us has taken its toll on my psychological well-being, which has left me unable to cope with the city-wide parking situation.

The population of my homey little burg has declined by something on the order of 50-ish% since its heyday two generations ago, so parking here is really not ever an issue.  In normal times, if you’ve parked more than two blocks from home, then there’s a better than passing chance that your neighbors are having the party of the year and you weren’t invited.

But the snow has been so voluminous, the cold so relentless, that snow removal has become a cruel joke.  Snow is piled … everywhere.  It’s piled high on both sides of every street, encroaching further into street and sidewalk alike with each falling flake.  It’s been shoved into every corner of every lot of every business in town.   Battles rage between shovel and plow, pitting neighbor against neighbor, citizen against city, as desperate homeowners try to clear their driveways (and occasionally even their sidewalks) only to have the city plows shove heavy packed crusty messes over everything, plowing in cars, garbage cans, and the occasional small child under a mass of heavy, dirty, salty, icy wintry mix.

Meanwhile, the streets narrow ever more, and here really lies the crux of my problem.  Living as I do on a one way street with overnight parking allowed on both sides, navigating my street has become an awkward high-stakes video game challenge.  Turning onto the street leaves no room for error, with barely a car’s width left between the two rows of parked vehicles.  Meanwhile, parallel parking (or extricating oneself from any tight spot) is nearly impossible without enough lateral room to maneuver.   My neighbor opines that the drivewayed few on my block are no luckier – lacking the space to navigate the sharp turn one would require to back out onto the street.

I’ve had it.

And it’s fucking cold.

And it’s not stopping.

And I need some Springtime, please.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2011 5:00 pm

    Hi Liska! Hey, I just found you via your hilarious comment about ‘the Kino fracas’ … added you to the blogroll.

    As for snow, when I lived in Boston there was one winter when I literally lost my car underneath the insane snow-plow create mountains for the entire winter. Yes. It was months before enough of it melted for me to ID which lump contained my car.

    Good times. Spring will come, just not soon enough I guess.

    • March 2, 2011 9:28 pm

      Okay, that sort of puts my whiny predicament in perspective 🙂

      It’s warmed up enough here and there over the past week or so to at least give us some occasional respite. The big shiny orb in the sky is back, so it can’t be too long now!

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