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January 1, 2014

There are literally no homeless people in Toronto.

I love people watching. I mean really, who doesn’t? But even more, I love people listening, collecting snippets of conversation out of context and recontextualizing them in my head. This one’s a toughy, because it’s so fucking stupid. Also, full disclosure, I heard a few more lines of explanation from this hip 20- something of unplaceably European origin babbling away on New York’s lower east side. He was standing by this assertion, even as his companions proved understandably incredulous.

But the game must go on, so I’ve tried my best to brainstorm potential explanations for his statement:

  • He’s never been to Toronto
  • He’s never seen a homeless person
  • Oh, you mean Toronto Ontario? No, that one has homeless people. I was talking about a different Toronto.
  • He thinks “literally” means the opposite of what it does
  • He mistakes all crackheads for Mayor Ford
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